Learned this one in elementary school and I still tell it

I have no idea how I know this joke.
Two aliens in their flying saucer land near an abandoned gas station in the desert. They get out and walk up to one of the gas pumps. The captain alien points his ray gun at a gas pump and says, “Take me to your leader.”
The gas pump says nothing.
The captain alien repeats, “Take me to your leader.”
The gas pump says nothing.
The ensign alien says, “Hey, man. This seems like a bad idea. We should go.”
The captain alien replies, “Shut up. I’m in charge here. Take me to your leader.”
The gas pump says nothing.
The ensign alien repeats, “Dude, this is a really bad idea. These guys are bad news. We should go.”
Again, the captain alien replies, “Shut up. What do you know? Last chance! Take me to your leader!”
The gas pump says nothing.
Finally, the captain alien says, “That’s it!” and shoots the gas pump.
The entire station explodes, throwing the two aliens 50 yards away.
As they’re picking themselves up out of the dirt, the captain alien says to the ensign, “How? How did you know those guys were bad news?”
The ensign alien replies, “I’ve been all over this galaxy and I’ve learned one fundamental truth: if you meet a creature who can wrap its dick around its waist and hang it in its ear, you leave it alone.”

#joke

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